Saints, Scandals and School

Hello all,

I´ve now been in Xela about 2 weeks, and have decided to stay here one more week to study Spanish (5 embarassing hours per day), before heading North to Colomba for un poco de volunteer work.

Xela, the second largest city in Guatemala, is located on the Western side of the country, about 7,600 feet above sea level. It was colonized by both the Spanish and Germans. And in this way is bit of a gothic, with a definite European vibe. There is a main central park surrounded by old churches and beyond that, some mountains and volcanos.  Its an urban, slightly dangerous, city with quite a few tourists.  Because the city has over 30 choices of really reasonably priced school, its a hub for serious Spanish students, which may or may not include myself....

Via chicken bus, Sarah and I arrived in Xela on a Wednesday afternoon and found a nice old hostel right off of the central square.

side note: chicken buses are the main means of transport for local Guatemalans and they are absolutely bizarre.  Most of them are converted American school buses.  Normally, each bus is decorated and painted in the vision of the bus driver.  As a result, almost every chicken bus you get on is completely different (though there are some reaccuring themes).
One particular chicken bus Sarah and I were on, blasting salsa with the essential accordian as melody, (almost all chicken buses play salsa music or Tupac), proudly displayed 2 stuffed monkeys (fully clothed) above the rear view mirror.  One of the monkeys had big eyes that flashed blue to the beat of the music (see monkey on right).  A couple times, after a some especially curvy turns it was necessary for the driver to readjust the monkeys and their hats as they had started to lean and fall off the mirror.
Another chicken bus we were on had a long braid (of hair) attached to the horn somehow.  Whenever the bus driver honked the horn (which was ALL THE TIME) he would grasp the braid and pull it....it was mildly disturbing.


Anyways, on our first day in Xela we went to small town of San Adres Xecul that holds one of Guatemalas most famous churches.  We ended taking a chicken bus there and then getting on a pick up truck filled with bags of white thread (Sarah thought they were bags of mops) on the last leg of the journey.
The church is famous becuase of the manner and design of the facade.  The church is painted bright yellow with images of saints, aquatic animals, and tigers.

On Sunday I started Spanish clases at a School called ¨Sakribal¨. It´s women owned and operated and some activities as well as volunteer opportunities directed towards women´s causes and rights.  Olga, the director is super cool, and funny, as is my teacher Lela.  She is a bit of a pervert and laughs at all of my dumb attempts at jokes in broken Spanish, which I truly appreciate.
She´s told me everything I need to know about the prostitutes (prositutas) and drunks (borrachos) in Xela. We even took a field trip to the park in order to assess the number of transactions and availability of prostitutes in the park during the day.  What stood out to me the most was that apparently the prostitutes that wear the conservative traditional dress (Traje Tipica) are the most in demand... 

Lela and I have covered a lot of Spanish in the last week, and she definitely keeps it interesting.  I´m pretty sure she has told me about most every legend, spirit and occult occurance in Guatemala.
Fyi...the next few paragraphs will be solely dedicated to the these legends etc...I have picked three of what I believe are the best, but please know, there are many more.

1. Velusha-Velusha was a beautiful young Gypsy woman who lived in Xela about 100 years ago.  When Velusha was 16 years old a Spanish man came to town.  She immediately fell in love.  However, the Spanish man had to return to his country and they say soon after, Velusha literally died of a broken heart.  She is buried in Xela in the main cemetary.  Many go to her grave to write requests and wishes pertaining to love.  However, Lela told me that recently an article came out that said the tomb is for someone else and Velusha actually moved to Guatemala City and everyone just assumed she died....

On a side not, I visited the grave and the cemetary.  The cemetary itself is really cool. Apparently at night it becomes a hot-bed for satanic rituals and gang activity.  Often, people will find tombs that have been opened and certain herbs laying around that are used for initiations etc.  Other clues involve missing wings and heads from cherubs and other angels and saints from gravestones and tombs...

Also, there is 2 really bizarre tombs that are gigantic pyramids (see below)...hard to believe the Catholic Church would allow them in their cemetary....

2. San Simon- San Simon is sort of a hybrid saint... some call him "the protector of drunks", others, "guardian of the marginals"... He represents both good and evil.  People pray to him for both luck and love as well as torturous slow deaths for their enemies. Many devout Guatemalan Christians claim to not believe in San Simon but secretly visit his "statue" for help.  The original statue which I was able to visit, is located about 20 minutes outside of Xela.  I so wish I had a picture to post of him, but I highly recommend google-image searching him.
San Simon sits in a chair in the house of a family (the family that maintains the statue changes yearly).  He is a porcelein or plastic mannequin, not sure which.  He wears sunglasses, an american flag poncho, leather shoes, gloves and hat.  Because he is more approachable and human in his demeanor he accepts and requires offerings of cigarettes and alcohol.  If you put a cigarette in his mouth and the entire cigarette is finished, your prayer will be answered if not...youre out of luck.  Devotees also buy special fire-water to pour down his mouth which gathers in a some sort of receptical located in his stomach, at least thats what i was told....

3. El Sobreron-  El Sobreron is a tiny man.  Literally tiny, like 3 inches tall. He wears a big sombrero, and carries a guitar and has a beautiful tiny horse. Apparently, he is also quite the charmer... He wooes women who have long beautiful hair with his songs and admiration (and sombrero?).  Then when theyre distracted or sleeping he will take 3 strands of their hair and braid them.  He just LOVES braiding hair.  Anyways, he will continue braiding the womans hair until there is no more hair left to braid.  Once this happens he slowly kills the woman with his tiny magical powers.  If you know hes been braiding your hair, youre supposed to leave out barbie dolls on your bed to confuse him.  That way, he never runs out of hair to braid, and you wont die.

Besides the stories and the church a few more noteable things...

The last few weeks Ive been learning a lot more about the recent civil wars in Central America and the political and economic happenings that are going on today... Not sure if any of my 3 readers are interested but if one of you is, a post dedicated solely to these issues might be necessary...

Friday I walked to a menonite bakery on the outskirts of town and went ape-shit on 3 doughnuts, the first really sweet thing Ive gotten to eat since Ive been here...I would do it all over again if I could.

Also, last Wednesday I visited the eco-saunas in Zunil.  The eco-saunas are these rooms built around naturally occuring vapor that comes off of the mountains.  Super hot, and the views are really beautiful.



I also was able to see the oldest church in Central America. Located in small town called Salcaja (which is also where my teacher lives) and built in 1524, the church has been renovated several times and only some of the original structure remains.

This is the weed plant that is growing in the hostel outside my window.  

A German couple live next door and they play scary, angry German music, but they seem nice so I feel bad sharing that, but its true. 

Below: my amiga Shannon who I met recently, with our new Guatemaltecan friend, who we met on Saturday.
In response to the question, Why arent you married?, he replied, -Beecawse, Ay emm, a gay.-
pretty darn ballsy for this country...



All for now, but more to come...
Loves!

My first post ever.

Ok, so Im new to this whole blogging thing and at the moment cant find the apostrophe on this Guatemalan keyboard, so bare with me!

I arrived in Guatemala about 2 weeks ago...
After landing in Guatemala City, catching 2 shuttles and eating a bag of sea salt and vinegar chips that Rina had so kindly bought me the night before, I arrived in San Pedro to meet Sarah.

Sarah is a super sweet, smiley, giggley friend that i met during my time in Thailand.

San Pedro is situated in the Western Highlands of Guatemala on Lake Atitlan (the deepest lake in Central...and maybe South? America).  Several hippies claim the lake has super natural, life changing qualities.  However, upon arrival I decided that it was more likely that there was a large lago monster hanging out in Atitlan from prehistoric times.  My premonitions were later confirmed by my Spanish teacher Pancho who told me about the local legend of a Snake who lives in the water and eats kids who swim to far out in to the lake.  Although, he assured me, not to worry, the kids just probably drowned.

Anyways, San Pedro is a neat little lake town mixed with hippies, backpackers, and natives. Most of the women wear traditional Mayan dress, and all the locals spoke both Mayan and Spanish. There is an active volcano in the area, several hikeable mountains, and tons of cute little lake towns accessible via motor boats.
The hostel we stayed at, called, Xocomil, which means something like -the winds from the mountains-, was really nice, small and quiet.  The rooms were really basic and cheap but there was a medium sized courtyard with plenty of available hammocks to hang out in.
The owners of the place had a little girl named Emily, probably 6 years old, who was super quite and shy, but as soon as she got in the shower sang her little Guatemalan heart out. So cute.


Anyways, my first day in San Pedro started with Spanish class at Escuela Mayab.  I was introduced to my Spanish teacher, Pancho.  Reformed drug dealer, aspiring writer and philosopher, 20 year old Pancho made for an interesting maestro.  Also, because my name is apparently quite difficult to say in Spanish for the first class Pancho referred to me as -Joy-.  However, once we made the phonetic connection to -Angelina Jolie- things cleared up a bit.  There were several other teachers who worked there as well.  One in particular stood out... Me and sarah affectionately referred to him as -Gold Tooth- as he had gold rimmed around his 2 front teeth.  He in return referred to us as -Super Chicas- a title we attempted to live up to during our entire stay in San Pedro. (Side note: as dental work isnt readily available in Guatemala the general population has teeth that arent super attractive, so people have started little shops where they offer -dental aethetics-, one can get stars or other varies shaped plates on the front of their teeth.  they are bomb)

Throughout the week Sarah and I did several of the activities available in the area....

We went Kayaking on the lake on of the first days, the views of the enormous mountains juxtaposed with lake were amazing. Everything in this area is super lush and green and the weather was perfect.
We also went to the ChiChi market which is in the town of Chichicastenango.  It is one of the biggest markets in Guatemala.  On the ride there, our bus broke down so everyone had to wait on the side of the road for a little over an hour for a new bus.
During our wait we met Niko and his two friends.  Niko is probably in his 40s, greek, with a shaved head except for a little bundle of long hair on the back of his head.  He wore a shirt saying -I am the party- (which he took off at some point) with big striped haram pants. (below is an artist rendered sketch of Niko).  Im having a difficult time describing him in words...  there were lots of nuggies, mis-pronouned words (in reference to all the speed bumps we went over he would exclaim -eet is sooahhhh waievy!-) and giggles.  I hope at some point in my life I will bump into him again....Sarah and I entertained ourselves for days by imitating him, talking about him, and speculating about his life, friends, hobbies etc.

Anyways, the market was filled with tons of handicrafts, blankets, purses, clothes and food.  I ended up making *ahem* a few impulse buys. But nothing was regreted, so I think it was ok.

We also climed -The Nose- A mountain aptly named after the profile of a mayan man´s face.  We had heard that the watching the sunrise on the nose was one of the coolest things to experience in the area so we decided to do it.  Because we had assumed the identity of -Super Chicas- we decided to not take bus, shuttle or taxi up the mountain, but instead, climb it.  This turned out to be a questionable decision...

The night before we went for a short salsa session which turned creepy quickly (more on the men later, as machismo is RAMPANT in Gmala and requires more bitching...) so we returned to our hostel to get some sleep before the hike.
Waking up at 3am we met our guide down the street at 3 30.  He was pretty quite, old, stocky and missing teeth, but he seemed nice enough so we started our journey full of hope.  Turns out despite the local opinion that the hike is -muy facil- (easy) we had a pretty hard time making it to the top.  The entire hike ended up being about 2.5-3 hours solely uphill. However, it was totally worth it...we proved ourselves as super chicas and the view was amazing, the sunrise was like no other Ive ever seen.  There was also an active volcano we could see that was erupted a little bit every so often while. (pictures to come) I thought that was really cool, and a bit scary as Guatemala had a pretty intense volcano eruption last year....
We stayed up there a while, enjoying the view and the sunshine and then headed down to the bus stop (decided the bus was a better option to get back) stopping once for our guide to poop by a tree.
We spent the rest of the afternoon resting and reading.

On Monday Spanish School resumed and Pancho didnt disappoint with his lesson on Guatemalan Organic Argriculture.  His talk was aided by his personal drawings on our school white board of a cow, pig and chicken, with big lips, pooping and peeing (i guess that part was about manure?... I lost track at some point)

Anyways, before we left San Pedro we got in some good R&R, frequenting the hostel hammocks and solar baths.  The solar baths are these huge cement tubs overlooking the lake, filled with hot water thats heated by these black rubber tubes, which get super hot during the day and heats the water.  Anyways, they were awesome and cheap.

We also headed to San Marcos the town just across the lake from San Pedro.  Here they have spiritual, metaphysical workshops and retreats for every kind of granola bar there is.  As we walked through the town we came across a shoeless shirtless dreaded guy huging a girl saying,
-much love, much love, ok I gotta run and make some copies quick, Im kind of in a hurry-
umm what? theres a copy machine in this town? that was weird.
Anyways, San Marcos has cliffs and lots of sun bathing spots so Sarah set up her hammock and we just hung out for the day.

On Wedneday (2-9) we headed to Xela.  Sarah has now left to go back to Honduras (boo) but Im still here and tomorrow am starting another week of Spanish School.
More to come!